There are some wonderful reels and videos on social media showing incredible proposals. They clearly took ages to plan and required lots of people being involved in secret, to create the ‘perfect’ scenario. And I am as delighted by them as the next person. I am also aware of the pressure some people feel to emulate them. To delay the question they really, really want to ask, because they can’t come up with a perfect proposal. As my grandmother would have said ‘Propose already!’
I was watching Grey’s Anatomy the other day. I had a cold, which had been hanging around all week and I needed a duvet day. So I watched this series about Interns in a hospital. It is actually about their relationships. Their very complex and often challenging relationships in the highly stressful environment of emergency medicine.
What are you waiting for?
There was a great reminder, as there is in several of the episodes, about how precious life is and how we constantly put things off because we’re ‘too busy / not ready’ (choose your own excuse!) and second chances are not within our control. So, I say again, ‘Propose Already!’
My husband, John, and I have been together for 39 years. Since we were teenagers. He proposed when we were just 20 and we were married on his 21st. Everyone (and yes, I do mean everyone) told us we were too young and it was never going to last. I am so glad we didn’t listen. And I am so glad he proposed without it being perfect. He didn’t try to make the proposal the highlight of our relationship. He spent every day of the rest of our lives together doing that. And there is the point.
The proposal really isn’t the important bit.
Sure, it’s fun and can be wonderfully romantic or outrageous and something you talk about for years. But don’t wait to do it until you think it’s the most perfect proposal ever, or you’ll be wishing you had done it and you won’t be able to.
Top Tips on creating a perfectly imperfect proposal
- Do not over plan. Getting hung-up on tiny details can make the experience highly stressful for you both. If things do not go according to plan, go with the flow. Little details that happen on the spur of the moment, often create the real magic in the proposal.
- Let your partner be the first to know! Seriously – I often wonder how many people knew about the plans before the most important person did. Instead of getting lots of friends involved in elaborate plans, invite them to a party to celebrate after you get a ‘YES!’
- Record a video message for them of how nervous you were. As you’re getting ready, create a keepsake in the form of a personal ‘I was so excited’ video and play it to them the next day.
- Choose not to share it on social. There is so much pressure to share every detail of your love story on social media. Keep the proposal for the two of you and treasure it as an intimate detail.
- Don’t wait until you can afford it. It will never happen. The ring can wait, the weekend in a dream venue can wait. Your time together is now and it is not a rehearsal. When you know it’s the right person, everything else can wait.
We are very lucky to live in a beautiful part of West Wales, right near the Brecon Beacons. It is the most amazing and restful and peaceful and romantic place we have ever lived. We are surrounded by trees and hills and wildlife. We have a little hut in our woodland here, called The Charcoal Hut. During the last few years, four people have proposed to the love of their life in our hut. Four couples have changed their path whilst staying here and we will forever be part of their story. I feel so blessed by this.
The most wonderful thing about it, is that none of them organised massive or complex flash mobs. Nobody set up a camera or brought friends along dressed in costume or created a message in the sky with a plane. They proposed. In a little cabin in the woodland, under the night sky. They sat by the fire and toasted marshmallows. They shared a cup of hot chocolate. And they decided to spend the rest of their lives together.
Sounds pretty perfect to me. So go on, just propose already!
If you’d like to book a romantic get away under the stars and maybe even propose to the love of your life, take a look at our little Charcoal Hut and book your next chapter today.
If you’re planning a proposal, you’re going to want to talk to a Celebrant in the new year. They’ll have lots of ideas to help you create the ceremony you’re both hoping for. I suggest connecting with one of our Graduates.